The Trouble with Depression-Excerpt
Feb 10th, 2012 | By Patty Mason | Category: Recommended List
By Patty Mason –
To know me today you would probably never guess I battled with depression; a prisoner who lived within the dark walls of torment, enslaved by despair and the fury of pent-up rage. You would probably never guess I lived through a darkness so blinding, a pain so unbearable, and an isolation so devastating, I became suicidal.
What is it about depression that brings a seemingly normal, sane woman to the brink of wanting to take her own life? What is it about depression that drives a soul to want to forsake her own existence and see death as an option for escape?
Perhaps for those who have never experienced depression, this may be an inconceivable concept—an unthinkable deduction of logic that is simply unreasonable. You may even become frustrated and wonder why people don’t just get over depression. At least that’s what my husband thought. It wasn’t that he didn’t care. At the time, he just didn’t understand why I couldn’t shake it off—to make the choice to be happy. But depression is not some temporary mood you wake up from and get over. People who have never experienced depression simply do not understand the difficult struggle we face every day.
Depression was a constant battle bringing on overwhelming feels of sadness, anger, even rage, and hopelessness. I felt alone and lost—nothing mattered anymore. Depression was far more than a disease or some type of mental illness; and it did far more than simply hurt. Depression was devastating, debilitating, destructive and demoralizing. It crippled my mind, heart, spirit and soul and destroyed every part of me. Nothing kept me held in a world of pain and suffering like depression. It was an unceasing vacuum gripping my soul in such a way that it rendered me utterly helpless and hopeless. I couldn’t control what was happening. My once energetic personality lost its drive. I felt drained and tired, and I lost all interest to do anything or go anywhere.
When the depression hit, I became confused and wondered why this was happening to me. Where did I go wrong? At the time, I was seemingly living a good life, a life that appeared to be full of hopes and dreams, plans and expectations that kept me hungering for more. So what happened? How could the highest point of my life so quickly become the lowest point? It made no sense, but when the depression hit, my world came crashing down around me, and I didn’t have the faintest idea how to begin to pick up the pieces, much less put my broken life back together.
I never saw the depression coming, nor did I realize how much it would steal from me. Nonetheless, depression hit my life like a freight train going about 90 miles an hour. I didn’t expect it or plan for it; yet, there it was, like an unwelcomed guest in my home. Depression attached itself to my life and filled my days with gloom and misery.
The truth of the matter is no one ever sees depression coming into his/her life. They do not forecast it, nor plan for it. Depression is not a lifelong ambition. No one asks for it, desires it, deserves it, or relishes in the fact he/she has it. No one ever sets out to be depressed. It’s a condition that forms without warning, like a dark storm that appears on the horizon of a sunny day, and suddenly destroys everything in its path.
Patty Mason is a wife and mother who found hope and healing when Jesus reached into her well of depression and set her free. From her painful past God created Liberty in Christ Ministries, a ministry dedicated to helping others find hope, healing, and freedom for their souls. As a speaker and Bible teacher, Patty has reached audiences all over the world through Sisters on Assignment, Christian TV, Sermon.net, Salem Communication’s Light Source, and WLGT Blog Radio Live. Most recently, her story was featured on CBN, 700 Club.
Her books include, Transformed by Desire: A Journey of Awakening to Life and Love, and Finally Free: Breaking the Bonds of Depression Without Drugs.
For more information about Patty or her ministry, visit www.libertyinchrist.net.